


Shattered

by arawol



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e10 Abandon All Hope..., Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arawol/pseuds/arawol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Harvelles are dead and everyone learns to cope in their own way. Castiel and Dean find solace in each other. Sam's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered

When the Harvelles die, everyone copes in different ways. Bobby drowns himself in liquor and drinks himself to sleep. Sam presses the heels of his hands into his eyes to keep the tears in. If he lets them fall, he too will fall. One day, Sam wants to be able to shatter – to leave himself broken across the floor until someone can come and piece him together, stitch him up with love and hope – but there is still an apocalypse to fight and a brother to be strong for. And doesn’t that just say it all? Sam doesn’t want to be happy; he just wants a _chance_ to be sad.

Dean gets violent. He’s destructive and brutal, a hurricane of fury. After Bobby throws their photo in the flames, he grabs a bat and runs out into the junkyard. He takes apart anything he’d have deemed beautiful, in penance for daring to be less broken than him. Bobby will never be able to fix up the cars he takes offence to, but he’d rather it be the cars than him.

Sam turns and startles back at the sight of Castiel right behind him. Cas makes as if to walk straight into Dean’s battlefield and Sam throws out his hand in warning. Cas considers the hand with an alien curiosity and Sam rushes to explain.

“You can’t go near Dean right now. He’s… getting rid of some stress.”

“I’m aware. I intended to help.”

Incredulously, he says, “I really don’t think that’s a good idea. You go near him and he’ll probably attack you too.”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” he says and strides past. He hesitates in the doorway, gives Sam one of the smiles he thinks are supposed to be comforting, and reassures, “I’m an Angel of the Lord. I can take it.”

When Dean trails back in the next morning, he notices that Dean looks lighter, the sunken look around his eyes nearly gone. He checks out Cas and, sure enough, he has a black eye and a split lip (and did Castiel lower his vessel’s defences to get those, or is that just how human he is these days? Sam’s not sure which is worse any more.) Except… when Cas turns his head, Sam sees love bites along his neck. His lips are puffy. His hair is even more scruffy than normal.

This relationship’s unhealthy and messed up and probably immoral… but it’s working, and that’s the best you can hope for in this life.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably more of a character study than a fic. My headcanon is that Cas made Dean hurt him to calm him down, the way he hurt the Impala, so I thought I'd share it with you.


End file.
